Saturday, September 03, 2011

Empty Palm Beach International Airport tower would make great (insert idea here)

By Frank Cerabino
Palm Beach Post
Posted: 6:09 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 3, 2011

Dear Federal Aviation Administration:

Can we borrow your tower at Palm Beach International Airport?

Not the runty one that you're using every day to guide flights into and out of West Palm Beach.

No, I mean the big one, the $19.2 million, new-and-improved air traffic control tower that has been sitting empty at Palm Beach International for the past year.

It's making for an unfortunate first impression for tourists, who upon their arrival in Palm Beach County might mistake the vacant tower as the first evidence of the area's foreclosure crisis.

"Look, Gladys. They're even evicting people at the airport!"

Even worse, visitors might wonder why an airport as sleepy as PBIA needs two control towers instead of one.

Either way, at 231 feet, the tower is tall enough to be a landmark. And who ever heard of an empty landmark?

So, while the FAA and the air traffic controllers union continue to bicker about whether a long-range radar system should go in the new tower - the reason for its lack of occupancy - allow us to put it to use.

Throw a sign on it. Make it buzz with activity. Get some life in the place.

I've been spitballing some ideas. Here they are:

The Tower of Error

Description: A bungee jumping attraction.

Pros: Nearby jet noise would drown out the screams.

Cons: As arriving passengers taxi on the runway, it might appear to them that the air traffic controllers are engaging in a mass suicide pact.

The PBSO IF

Description: The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office Interview Facility is like the Tower of Error, except that the bungee jumping is involuntary.

Pros: Lower crime rate.

Cons: Yes.

Vista del Military Trail Condominiums

Description: The height of active-senior living. Rooftop card room has panoramic views of the county.

Pros: Free trolley service to the terminal.

Cons: Occasional flight delays at the airport due to lost drivers in Mercury Grand Marquises cruising on the runway.

TGI Wings!

Description: A fun-for-the-whole-familly aviation-themed restaurant. Diners feel as if they're on a plane.

Pros: You don't have to wear your seat belt for the entire meal.

Cons: Waitresses clad as flight attendants don't let you keep the whole can of soda.

PBIA Early Voting Precinct

Description: Funded by the Republican-led state legislature to blunt criticism it is trying to suppress voting in Democratic-heavy parts of the state.

Pros: Voters can enjoy the view after they cast their ballots.

Cons: Elevator to precinct replaced by stairs in cost-cutting move.

Source:   http://www.palmbeachpost.com

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